Being in love is scary. It can be precious yet deadly. I either push you away or pulling you back. I don’t know if I should continue to show affection or hold back. I need to talk to somebody about this. There’s a reason for everything.
I trust in friendships more than I’m in a relationships. But that’s weird cause I don’t trust anyone at all if I can’t even trust my own family. Well, I want to be honest tonight. I don’t trust her because how a lot of people are attractive to her. When I’m not there to give her attention, somebody else will. When I’m not there to ft her, somebody else will. When I’m not responding to her text, somebody else will. I don’t want that fucking bull shit. I know she would never cheat and what not. But she’s not in a relationship so she’ll continue to be or act single. But by the time she’s taken, I know how she is; she’s going to be loyal. That doesn’t matter cause she’s not.
You know what… Ima cut this short. Fuck this shit. I want to stop. Fuck this forreal
I needed this night. I can seriously rethink about random shit. I had a good talk with people. Just asking if she’s safe to love. How can I trust and what can I trust her on. Maybe I’m scared because I’m insecure. Or maybe I’m having ambition to trust her but I can’t. The only way I could find out is to either wait or talk to her to prove me otherwise. What ever it is, she’s too….I guess…. “Wanted” from other guys. And I cannot take that. It sucks cause one; it shouldn’t matter in the first place. Two; she’s not mine. I’m trapped. But fuck it. Ima gotta take it slow. Actually not take it slow, but to quit showing my affection.. Fuk it fr.